Wednesday, December 21, 2016

do I think God is in the sky
any more than in the twigs
And I walk in the woods
I seek something above
and beyond these trees
But it is so dark in me
Now snow covers soil
The reaching trees stand here
I search the high sky
Looking up
When I could as well
lay my fingering
twigs upon my heart
and follow down roots
and delve most deep into the darkness
I come from

Thursday, December 1, 2016

 Christmas musings
It's been a long time since we've had a January
but there's one coming soon.
A long month with a lot of time for nothing,
many nothing-filled days.
With deadlines past,
we can sleep 'til noon,
warm leftovers when the afternoon darkens,
drink tea,
light candles alight.
Leave the dishes for tomorrow;
I'm busy with nothing tonight.

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Does the leaf disrespect?
When it whines to the wind
of the places it's been
and the troubles it's seen.
When it sees the world whirling by
out of control,
in its dry crumbling roll
and its twisted air-lifted
expulsion from place.
When it loses its view
from the the top of the tree
down to low as can be,
and beginning to moulder.
Is it ruder and bolder
than nicety demands,
to look at the winds
that takes out of your hands
the precious, the needed,
and say wind I bleed?
Or is it an honesty
born of the knowing
that no one can talk of
their coming and going.

Proof of God
The beautiful words
And the terrible words
And the pain pain pain.
The secret thoughts
And the secret words
And the deep dark pain.
The sacrifice
No one ever sees
The quiet act
Done to serve or please
The inner voice
And the difficult choice
And the white hot pain.
The fading hope
And the dying dreams
Of what might have been.
The broken heart 
And the wasted life
And the agonizing
Loss that is death 
And the wish to live
And the wish to die
And the pain pain pain.

Monday, September 19, 2016

Last night my heart ached for a raiment of colour.
A new colour, a strong feeling.
Vivid and breath taking,
Yearning for beauty as yet unbeheld.
I tried to hold onto
The colour, the feeling,
But faded out slowly
Into sleepy unclarity
Until I could murmur only
"...a t-shirt deep blue..."

Sunday, September 18, 2016

So I decide to face the day one minute at a time
Trying to hold onto the soul silence that night sleep left behind
The cream left no cloud in my coffee
Except for a thin swirl of gloss on the surface
That only reveals itself when I lean closer
To let the light reflect on it just so,
when I am ready.
I will sit at the table alone
In this empty house
And read my book while I sip my coffee
Later I will think about brushing my teeth
Let the border drop there
This is the minute I am in now

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Every day for the rest of my life
I will feel the same
Never the same again.
Until the next time the world falls down
Adding never the same
Never the same again.
Well I'm still standing
Until I fall
Then others must carry on
Never the same again.

Monday, August 15, 2016

Alive on the inside
You live in the world
All your eyes open
All wings unfurled
No fear for the unknown
A spirit of quest
You try on unknowing
To dream of the best
The clouds were not high enough
The world not too low
Life is exploration
To see is to go

Pain enters through the same door we opened to let love in. 
We opened it anyway. 

Sunday, May 15, 2016

One time
I saw an eagle fly
Just over my head
So close I could hear wind in its feathers. 
Had I not lifted my eyes
I would never have seen. 
One time
I saw a crystal gleam
Just by my boot
So close I could pick it up and see the light.
Had I not lowered my eyes
I would never have seen. 
One time
I saw the dark
All around me
So complete I could lose all I saw.
Had I not closed my eyes
I would never have seen.
Let us plant Scotch Pine just for the memories. 
Let us plant apple trees.
Long rows of cottonwood,
to reach for the sky someday,
like we never could.
Let us reach far ahead,
to outlast all we spoke:
go for the gold!
Let us plant oak.

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

No matter how many birds I watch,
How many hours I study
The curve of wing tip
The swoop and hover
The highs and lows
And stamina,
I just can't seem to fly.

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

If I ever leave trees
it will be for wind.
Long have I loved the patience of trees,
the solidity, the illusion of permanence.
I have been much seduced by the wind.
I am tempted to be swept away.

Thursday, March 24, 2016

I live in the dark
I said.
Then I opened my eyes to the dark,
The shadows of variation,
The all-around-ness to me.
A black I could come to depend on.
And I found myself in the dark.

I live under ice
I said.
Then I lifted my eyes to the ice
The crystals and gleaming striations,
The over-ness always to me.
A cold I could always be sure of.
And I saw myself in the ice.

I live within chaos
I said.
Then my eyelids floated away.
My body dissolved and my knowledge.
And I only dreamt about love.

Friday, March 18, 2016

 Did you show your children the stars?,
Accuser said.
Not enough! Not enough!
Let me show them galaxies
only so that they may recognize infinity
when they see my love.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

It is so hard to go for a walk. 
On a restful couch
With a spellbinding book
And a warm fleecy blanket,
The idea daunts.
To put on
thick socks
ear muffs
snow pants
But you do.
And the mirror as you step out the door says
You are no longer a slouch on a couch
But a walker of woods at C 15 below,
A cruncher of snow
A strider of silence.
Oh where can't you go!

Sunday, January 3, 2016

 I think I saw some solitude out there.
Looking out the window of this crowded house
I saw it in the distance,
Slipping through the trees.
A thing of beauty calling to me,
Kin creature to my core.
I'm not far from the door.
So out I go in silence
Walking far and walking forest,
And in the company of no one,
Find the companion I looked for.