Monday, May 24, 2010

This is not me
walking down the street in the gently falling rain
this is me talking to my therapist
pouring out my heart as I rest on the couch
while Therapist listens sympathetically
and nods and says "I know. I've been there."

this is not me
jogging along the gravel road
this is me trying to outrun the pain
of someone I love suffering.
You cannot see my Running Partner.

This is not me
bent over to catch my breath.
this is me on my knees in prayer
and sometimes using words.

This is not me
turning around to head back to my house
this is me once more taking up the cross
and using it as a weapon
and trying to keep on swinging
to fight the only way I know how
- HJ May 24, 2010

Monday, May 17, 2010

O Lord, lead my chary children by their own distractions
to thy welcoming self
as Thou hast ever led,
quicken the dead,
and turn this prayer for mercy
also to shine on my own head.
Let each small speck of the joy that is truth
in this dark world draw us to Thee.
Be that light by which we seek
to find the light.
Our sight is weak,
Thou ever revealing mystique.
-HJ May 12, 2010

Friday, May 14, 2010

Is love worth the fear of losing?
Does one let the rage, or the tenderness, drive the act of choosing?
Does the blossom define, or the thorn define, the nature of the rose?
Are we stronger, or more vulnerable, in the moments when love grows?
Is life for saving by hiding away, or for spending outrageously before it turns grey?
It doesn't matter. When I first saw your eyes
there was no question left: just to jump was wise.
-HJ May 15, 2010

Thursday, May 13, 2010

My judgement is sharp, my eyes are clear when I see the idols that others revere.
How obvious, I laugh and scoff, and wonder they don't cast them off.
But to gaze upon my own obsessions, to study my failings, my indiscretions,
takes courage that I often lack, to leave my gods and not look back.
I cannot promise to commit, I do not have the strength for it.
In moments of repentant grief I pray, help Thou my unbelief.
-HJ May 2010

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

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i am between eternities: the future and the past
yet i think my life significant and think my life will last?
i see mountains as immovable, ocean waters without end,
to grasp the distance to the stars my mind cannot pretend.
but how much greater, near beyond our powers to understand,
is the truth of God, the power of God, and the love that guides His hand.
for the truth of God, the I AM, gives us comfort and assurance,
and the power of God brings fear of God; 'twould be beyond endurance
excepting for the love of God, and that He holds us dear,
assures us of His tender mercy, calls us to draw near.
when great troubles come, as come they do, I look to my Creator,
for the truth of God, the power of God, and love of God, are greater.
-HJ May 2010

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

I didn't get very far with my Bible reading tonight. I am reading through the New Testament in the Message version, and I am starting the book of John. Just a few lines in I read, “The Life-Light blazed out of the darkness; the darkness couldn't put it out.” I was awed.

Undiminished by the darkness the light blazed on.
The blacker the night, the brighter it shone.
And only those trying to walk in the night
fully comprehended the glory of the light.
Day walkers, those trusters of their own eye power,
had no need for a beacon in their well-lit hour.
Small fear of stumbling when sight is keen,
when limbs are strong, the road easily seen.
But the darkest recesses of worlds or hearts
are glorified by the glow that love imparts.
The light in darkness, even now as then,
illuminates worlds, and women, and men.
-HJ May 6, 2010