Me? An Instrument of Righteousness?!?

Eph. 2:6 6 And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus,
Rom. 6:13 13 ...but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness.

But I did not know I would do THIS sin!
I accepted forgiveness for all I had done,
and all that I should have but didn't achieve
And now I am shocked, find it hard to believe,
the grizzly, and gristly nature of this,
my latest act of miserableness.
I must reexamine the hope that I have:
I'm called God's child, and not sin's slave.
Can I still claim the forgiveness, still be that blessed thing,
An instrument of righteousness, serving the King?
Thanks be to God for the grace He extends,
forgiveness of all sins until this life ends.
Though I try not to fail Him I do anyway.
but He saw I would fail Him, saw all on that day
When He made me the offer to die in my place,
knowing full well the filth I would throw in His face.
And this sin, my latest in a long line of fault,
makes clear I cannot seem to bring it to a halt.
If I am forgiven, as night follows day
it follows all people are loved in this way.
Lord, sharpen this instrument, polish off rust,
to serve You and Your people until I am dust.

-HJ, April 2011

 

I am reading Champagne For The Soul: Rediscovering God's Gift of Joy by Mike Mason, and I'm not sure yet what I make of it. But it has made me examine my experience of the kind of joy that is everlasting, maybe even abiding.

Is joy a cloak I can pull tighter
when I face fierce stormy winds
some of which blow through the fabric
but cannot chill me to the bone?

Or is joy more like a foundation 
I stand strong on, and unshaken,
until rocked so badly that I fall,
and though fallen I still cling?

Or is joy an inner treasure
though an earthen jar contains it
with a cracked and nicked appearance
as it wears through daily use?

As I shake it out to see it,
as I test its firm endurance,
as I peer inside to see it shine
I'm just thankful that it's there.
-HJ Apr. 16, 2011

I walked to town this morning, and couldn't resist taking photos of a little girl enjoying puddles!

"Become A Child"
The Lord leads me by the hand
Though my arms swing wildly,
for He takes big steps.
I look way up and smile
because He stops to let me jump in puddles
and if I should get muddy
only smiles at me in love.
I think He made those beautiful puddles.
-HJ Apr. 11, 2011

Struck down again I let myself lie,
My face on the rock, and I let myself cry.
Why fight it when flat on the solid ground,
Supported at least by the lowest of down,
And up is too difficult anyway
So I might as well rest on the rock where I lay
Me down to sleep or maybe to dream
Of the day I stand strong again, tall and lean,
The day when I've gotten the help I need,
All healed in the places I used to bleed.
But for now I think I will let myself lie
My face on the rock my back to the sky.
-HJ Apr. 10, 2011

 

Where I am rock let fountains pour,
Refreshing streams, reviving roar
Of life-renewing water.
Where I am flood, all-drowning seethe,
Let firm ground rise, and part the seas
Within my soul, your daughter.

Where branches rattle, fruitless, dry,
Let grow abundance, nourishing and fine.
Where I have fruit, ripe though small,
Take, squeeze, distill into pure wine.
Prune what so needs, let grow what bears;
Harvest the grain and burn the tares.
Turn revelry to repentant tears;
Exchange life's endless sorrows for long joyous years.

The last is first, the highest low.
The mighty falls; lift up the low.
The strong is wrong, and blessed is the weak;
The victory comes with the turning of the cheek.
Mountains level, valleys rise,
And crooked road is straightened where it lies.
Awake, my soul, and see this wondrous thing:
All the world is changed when the Servant is the King.

- HJ, March 20, 2011

I am; therefore I think.
I think; therefore I read,
Sometimes because I think
But sometimes because I don't want to.

I remember strange words that were spoken,
"Do you like poetry?" when we met at a bookstore.
"Yes," I answered, "do you?" with a smile.
"No," and as her head shook, my jaw dropped,
For this was my friend who sang hymns!
I know personally two people
Who have said that they do not like trees!
Then also my jaw dropped.

But I walk often among trees and my spirits are lifted.
And I read and I read, and so come home to myself again.

After You Believe: Why Christian Character Matters by N.T. Wright

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


This is one of my continuing self-education efforts, a textbook in my ongoing interest-driven Theology course. It takes a little more mental and intellectual effort than some of the enjoyable fiction choices I make, but it has a correspondingly greater increase in benefit. I find reading well-thought-out theology, or apologetics, can help me to re-affirm my belief, and lead me to more easily make unselfish (and therefore worshipful) decisions, and do things for others.
Page 108, "a glad and unworried trust in the creator God" leads to "a glad and generous heart toward others."



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Cloud and sky beyond the eye
enhanced by black branch fringe
(the dropping sun which glory splashed behind)
High in the east the moon awaits the stage
crouched neath the overhanging cloud
And we distracted by the lavish vibrant sunset
She doth timidity forsake and proudly shine her glow

book review

The Liturgical Year: The Spiraling Adventure of the Spiritual Life - The Ancient Practices Series by Joan D. Chittister

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


The Church, and especially the Catholic Church, has set readings and rituals throughout the year to commemorate pivotal times in the life of Christ as He lived out His purpose of embodying the most direct communication from God to us, God's people: God taking human form to sympathize with and rescue the human race. Coming from a non-liturgical church background as I do, I was curious about and interested in liturgical practices of Christianity. I really enjoyed the learning, mind- and spirit- expanding experience of reading this book over a number of weeks, as a bit of a self-guided study. I can see how following the liturgical year would be a rewarding and spiritually profitable practice. A most enjoyable read.



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I thought you were one of the Dunedain, to whom longer life is given. Well
it seems you are only human, and we'll never get to Rivendell.
But even the noble Aragorn came to know his days were numbered,
and so it must be for all of us, a brief span and then we slumber.
And though we two are surely named on the list of the world's greatest romances,
it seems we must part, to the break of our heart, so it's time for lingering glances...
Let us cast off fear of the future, and give life to the good deeds that live in us:
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."
-HJ Feb. 2011